This past week and a half, I have been traveling with my family. I work part-time as a remote behavioral economics researcher. Once a year, I actually work in the office for a few days to remind people I exist, do a presentation on stuff I’ve been working on, and spend some face-to-face time with co-workers. We turn it into a big family vacation at the hotel with the pool and made-to-order breakfast and we all have a great time (minus the days I actually have to work in an office!). This year, thanks to a boost of confidence from my amazing brother-in-law’s advice on getting a raise, I decided this was my year to get a raise!
Tag: Personal Finance Page 6 of 7
One of the most important things for maintaining good finances in marriage is a plan that includes differences. Making a financial plan together is important, but it’s also important to consider that you are two different people and this will require a good discussion about priorities and compromising on what you find most important. Things also change as time goes on. This discussion needs to happen frequently.
Mr. T and I have always been good at making sure we’re on the same page. I do sometimes worry, however, as the outspoken one around here, that maybe he’s just going along with what I say because I say it (he’s a man of few words). Since this year we embarked on our plan to reach early retirement and we’re also approaching our tenth wedding anniversary, I’ve been looking for a new way to discuss priorities and finances as a couple.
Lately, I’ve had a total breakthrough in achieving my goals. It has been a breakthrough for me to come to the realization (and admit) that I’m an “a lot at one time” kind of person and get stressed out about committing to do something every day. Granted, it’s only been a few weeks since I changed my tactics on my goals to reflect this realization, but so far things are going well. This all goes back to the most important thing you can do for yourself and your finances: know thyself. There are hundreds, probably thousands of personal finance blogs available, and it’s fabulous for your finances to surround yourself with good influences that preach the messages of avoiding debt, saving more, and finding financial freedom and independence. But the reason why there are so many is because there is no one-size-fits all approach to finances.
Do you want to know the absolute best way for you to get out of debt and save more money? The answer: The one you will actually do.
I was chatting with my brother-in-law last week. He just earned himself a nice promotion that is several steps above his current job and arguably above his current credentials (because he’s awesome like that). I asked him how he made that happen. He said: “You can’t ask for a raise or promotion. You have to set yourself up for one so they have no choice.” Of course, I inquired a bit more. Mr. T and I are not good at things like getting ourselves raises. We want to just be given them (ha! amiright?). So this whole concept intrigued me. Here is what he told me:
No one likes to feel regret. (“What? Maggie, I think you’ve sufficiently covered regret. You’ve covered both common life regrets and common business regrets and used research to tell us how to experience less regret.”) But sometimes, regret can be good. No, I’m not saying you have to experience regret. You just have to PLAN to experience regret? (“huh?”) Let me explain…
Tonight, I’ll go to bed as I usually do, and when I wake up, I will be $10,000 richer. The secret? Live in Alaska. Okay, so the title was clickbait. But it’s true. Tomorrow every eligible Alaskan will be $2,072 richer than they are today because the Permanent Fund Dividend will land in bank accounts and be mailed out to others. (To celebrate, it decided to snow last night!) With five of us, that makes us $10,360 richer tomorrow.
During my obsessive consumption of social media coming out of #FinCon15, I caught pictures of the full faces of two of my favorite anonymous bloggers: The Frugalwoods and J. Money. Neither of them looked anything like I’d imagined (which is surprising because I’ve seen a lot of profiles, partial faces, etc). But instead of being disappointed, I thought “how refreshing!” The financial blogger world (and especially the early retirement world) is such an interesting microcosm because people talk about real money. People share their net worth. People share how much they spend, down to the penny. Savings and Debt payoff are celebrated! Financial Independence days are a thing! But we don’t know or care about job titles, home sizes, or even what these people look like!
I’ve mentioned before that life in Alaska is very seasonal. The fireweed is the perfect example. In the summertime, Alaska turns purple as the fields of fireweed all over begin to bloom. The fireweed is so ubiquitous, it’s part of the culture. It’s the name of roads and businesses and used in lotions, candles, and jellies. I’ve even eaten fireweed ice cream! The flower begins to blossom at the bottom. As the summer progresses, the blossoms move up the flower until the flowers are just at the top. When all the blossoms have bloomed, the flower goes to seed in a white flurry that looks like smoke. The progress of the fireweed is closely monitored as our cultural indicator of summer. It is said that when the fireweed “burns out,” or goes to seed, summer is over.
I’ve read a number of articles claiming to know the number one reason for divorce: selfishness, social media, infidelity, etc. I don’t claim to know what the right answer is, but one that comes up a lot as a main problem in marriage is money. And rightfully so. There you are, minding your own business, making your own money, spending your own money, and then all of a sudden, you get married and all that money (or lack thereof) is pooled together. Now your debt is his debt and his debt is your debt and your earnings are his earnings. It’s a tricky situation to navigate. Here are some ways to successfully navigate finances in marriage:
I’m only a month into this “new lifestyle” of being awesome. But here’s what I’ve realized: I’m not as awesome as I’d hoped. I started by hacking my financial life. I took some steps to create an awesome plan to retire awesomely early. When you’re trying to streamline something to be the best it can be, you realize there are shortfalls. I realized I had places I could improve in financially, so to help me, I started this blog. It hasn’t been up long and it doesn’t have a lot of traffic, but it’s my piece to help myself and people like me be better. We can be smarter. We can make better choices.
In optimizing my financial life, I realized I’ve got more optimizing to do.
I set up the blog to help me make better financial choices, so I became hyper-aware of financial discussions happening all around me. It turns out people are always talking about using credit cards like checkbooks, struggling to pay off large student loans, and buying all the things! If you are involved in the online personal finance community, it makes you just want to shout “YOU KNOW BETTER! DON’T BE STUPID!” Because, of course, I’m smarter than them. But I’m not.
We all know what we should be doing, but no one can make us do it. If it’s not happening, it’s your fault!