How Money is like Toilet Paper

How Money is Like Toilet Paper

Money is like toilet paper. But, in all honesty, I wish it was a lot more like toilet paper! Let’s get rolling (pun intended):

How Money is Like Toilet Paper

  1. We All Need it – Bidets aside, we all need toilet paper. We all need money too.
  2. We Hate Running Out of it – Ever been in a stall with none? Worse: Ever been in your own house and realize you’re on the last roll? The clock starts ticking! Ever seen your bank account dwindle to low numbers? It’s super scary, right?
  3. We Don’t Like to Talk About it – Do you know anything about your friends’ toilet paper usage? Maybe you recognize the brand from their house, but do you know how much they use? How much they have stored? Do you know their toilet paper arguments? Or how much they buy in one trip? I didn’t think so. We also hate talking about money. In our society, it’s something that shouldn’t be mentioned in public.
  4. We Don’t Love Buying It – It’s a hassle. It’s something we wish would just stay stocked in our house. We don’t usually go: “Last roll! That means today I get to buy toilet paper!!!!” But we do it. We go. We buy. We store. We use. We repeat. The same goes for making money. A lot of people don’t LOVE their jobs but they go, they earn, they repeat.

Honestly, these four reasons are the main reasons why we started this blog. I wanted money to be more like toilet paper. I want to be able to live my life with my family the way I want to. I want to travel and work around the schedule our family decides rather than someone else. I want to not have to think about the toilet paper aspect of our life. I just want to use it, store it, and live my life not thinking about it!

How Money Should be MORE like Toilet Paper:

  1. Easy Access – Sure, you have to buy it, but you can buy toilet paper almost anywhere. Grocery stores. Gas stations. You can buy it in single rolls and Costco packs depending on your budget. I’m not saying it’s not hard for some people to keep buying toilet paper, but generally speaking, it’s inexpensive and easily accessible. Everyone has the same ability to walk into the store. If they have the money, they can walk away with the TP. When it comes to money, it’s an unfair system and access is restricted.
  2. Easy to Give – If your neighbor called you and said: “So, here I am on the John and I am completely out of TP. Any chance you could leave a roll on my porch and my kid will come out and get it?” you would do it. A roll of toilet paper? Sure. I won’t even miss it. If, after the hurricanes, everyone said: “All you have to do is set 5 rolls of toilet paper on your porch and everyone in Houston will be fine” you would do it. 5 rolls? On my porch? DONE! We get all weird with our money. Will the money make it to the people? Think of the politics! I just can’t give away my toilet paper. I’m running low and I really don’t want to go to Costco again before Saturday. Even if it would save homeless people. Nope.
  3. Hard to Flaunt – Maybe you buy the fancy toilet paper. It’s so soft. So many plys! Unless someone happens to use the toilet at your house, no one will ever know! With money, we’re all about show. We’re all about showing what we can buy. Look at my car! My house! My clothes! They’re so much fancier than yours.
  4. No One Wants to Borrow It – Toilet paper is easy to give, but impossible to borrow. No one wants it back when you’re done! Think of how everything would change if we avoided borrowing money!

What did I miss? Do you think the analogy works or am I way off base here? 🙂

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23 Comments

  1. Haha! There is no dignified way to buy TP, is there? Fun read with real money truths.

    • MaggieBanks

      Of course it’s dignified to throw a giant costco pack of TP on the cart and have it take up the whole bottom and proudly loud into the trunk! 🙂 It is Costco’s #1 selling item, you know.

  2. Hahaha! “Excuse me, might I borrow some toilet paper? I promise I’ll return it when I’m done.” 🙂 Such a funny thought and great for a laugh this morning.

    If money was as hard to borrow as toilet paper the whole economy would be SO much different than it is currently. The same with flaunting. If you couldn’t really flaunt your money so easily, you’d have less reason to borrow to show that you have even more money, or access to it, than others. “Look at us we have ALL the nicest toilet paper!! We’re so Fancy!” just hilarious!

  3. Clever comparison! Everyone gets so caught up in the social status of money that I think we are afraid of appearing socially lower than we want to be. It’s a tool, not a status symbol.

    Unlike TP-ing my house, I would love it if someone came and started throwing cash in my front yard…

  4. Hehe, nice. Especially the “hate” running out of it part. In fact, I’m not sure which one would actually be worse. 🙂

  5. Now that’s funny stuff… and very creative!!

    — Jim

  6. All so true, and funny! In experimenting with being more open with people about money, I’ve noticed just how quickly our conversation become physically uncomfortable for them . . . in much the same way I would expect them to react if I started chatting about toilet paper.

    Oh wait – you could add something about kids discussing it freely, with no shame at all – but that applies to a lot of topics.

  7. This made me laugh because I have TP envy sometimes – I wish we could go 3 ply! But I can’t justify the lifestyle upgrade, so I appreciate people who can afford it. 😉

  8. Nobody wants to borrow it. Bwahahahaha

  9. Can you spare a square?

  10. Chris @ Keep Thrifty

    Well done Maggie – this is hilarious!

  11. natphoru

    How can you mention bidets and then just toss them aside? Who needs TP when you have a bidet? I think you could extend your analogy – everyone thinks they need TP just like everyone thinks they need money. But, once you find out what’s really important, you realize what you thought you needed was not only optional, but sub-optimal compared to the other solutions.

    • MaggieBanks

      Ha ha ha. I tossed them aside because I don’t personally have one and I haven’t thoroughly enjoyed the ones I’ve used. I don’t like being wet. 🙂 But you’re right… maybe I need some bidet education to refocus my need for toilet paper!

  12. Hahaha…I love this one. I’d add one more we often have opinion the way others use their toilet paper/money. Whether that’s hanging the toilet paper over/under or using too many squares/spending too much 🙂

    • MaggieBanks

      Ha ha. Agreed. “I can’t BELIEVE they are UNDER people!” – Fun fact: I’m a toilet paper over person, but as soon as I had kids, I realized that’s a terrible way to do it with children – they can unroll that whole thing in 5 seconds. If it’s under, they can’t as easily. 🙂

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