On Monday, we discussed how people are sometimes dumb with money and love, but it’s not all bad news. Today, we highlight research that shows love can positively influence our finances. The first study, published in December 2015, followed 693 University of Arizona students. The (mostly white, female) students were extensively surveyed toward the beginning of college (ages 18-21) and then again toward the end (ages 21-24). The 693 study participants were all included because they reported being in a serious, committed relationship at the second survey. The study was trying to figure out the impact parents and romantic partners have on the financial behaviors and attitudes of college students.
I read a lot about healthcare for my job and one thing that keeps coming up is that we’re terrible at making rational decisions about our loved ones. It’s easy to have a discussion about end-of-life care and how trying everything, no matter how expensive, is ridiculous for someone in her eighties. I don’t want to live or die like that. But when it’s your own mother, the story changes. If you’re the one that has to make the choice about pulling the plug on the breathing tube, everything changes. Understandably!
One of the most important things for maintaining good finances in marriage is a plan that includes differences. Making a financial plan together is important, but it’s also important to consider that you are two different people and this will require a good discussion about priorities and compromising on what you find most important. Things also change as time goes on. This discussion needs to happen frequently.
Mr. T and I have always been good at making sure we’re on the same page. I do sometimes worry, however, as the outspoken one around here, that maybe he’s just going along with what I say because I say it (he’s a man of few words). Since this year we embarked on our plan to reach early retirement and we’re also approaching our tenth wedding anniversary, I’ve been looking for a new way to discuss priorities and finances as a couple.
I’ve read a number of articles claiming to know the number one reason for divorce: selfishness, social media, infidelity, etc. I don’t claim to know what the right answer is, but one that comes up a lot as a main problem in marriage is money. And rightfully so. There you are, minding your own business, making your own money, spending your own money, and then all of a sudden, you get married and all that money (or lack thereof) is pooled together. Now your debt is his debt and his debt is your debt and your earnings are his earnings. It’s a tricky situation to navigate. Here are some ways to successfully navigate finances in marriage: